I am Wyatt Wang.Com

Jan - Jun 2007

16 Jun 07	wyattwang.com Is Going To The Emerald City
10 Jun 07	If You Trust Me, I Will "Thrust" You
4 Jun 07	The Unforgiving "Heat" Of June
30 May 07	I Am The One-Bar General (Part 1)
24 May 07	My Website, My Website, My Website
8 May 07	wyattwang.com Is Going To Khao Lak, Thailand
4 May 07	Here Comes Success, Hoo Ray Success...
26 Apr 07	No Work, No Sex, No Love, No Microwave Dinners, No Life
15 Apr 07	3 Green Condoms
11 Apr 07	Going To A Mass Orgy With Me?
6 Apr 07	Hey Queen Jessie89, Thanks For Everything!
2 Apr 07	Post April's Fool Blog Entry
20 Mar 07	Don't Call The Police, You Are Supposed To Be The Offender, Mr Toe!!
11 Mar 07	BREAKING NEWS: Mr Toe CAUGHT Crooning Along Wth His New I-Pod!!
7 Mar 07	THE Transfer
3 Mar 07	So Am I Back Here Again?
26 Feb 07	wyattwang.com Is Doing a Solo in Solo City!
20 Feb 07	Was There Something Wrong With Me?
14 Feb 07	I Dreamed That I Contracted VD on VD
8 Feb 07	Middle Of The Week; Routine, Routine-ness and Routinity
6 Feb 07	A Beer Free Weekend? Well, Almost...
5 Feb 07	Between Left And Right, Between Right And Wrong
29 Jan 07	A Monday Morning (Again), An Infected Laptop And A Lost Weekend
22 Jan 07	My Confession Of Pain
21 Jan 07	Did Your Tears Ran Dry When You Had A Hangover?
15 Jan 07	You May Kill Yourself When You Have A Hormonal Imbalance

16 Jun 07 - wyattwang.com Is Going To The Emerald City
Don't bother rubbing your eyes; it's true that my coke and beer counts stands at 1 and 0 respectively. I have gone without beer for more than 2 weeks!!

In slightly less than 10hours, I will be on way to Seattle, Washington (via transit stops at Seoul and San Francisco) for work; travelling for 24 hours. I suppose there is nothing much to shout about. Just a year ago, I did a 30-hour journey to Cedar Rapids, Iowa and came back perfectly fine (excluding the bothering headache I had when I went to work the next day).

Although this trip was not really planned beforehand, the opportunity to get out of Sillypore is certainly relished. No doubt I'm getting butterflies in my stomach as I will be handling a new area of work. But then again, I suppose it is things like this to keep me motivated till a time where I finally fizz off.

10 Jun 07 - If You Trust Me, I Will "Thrust" You
The flu bug is still with me and it had just been announced that I am going to Seattle for duty in a week's time. More about this if I have time. Hmmm, proceedings can certainly change every second; for better or worse.

Again, perhaps something is making fun of me; someone asked me (again) what do I usually for the weekends (recall the 26 Apr 07 blog entry). It's funny how people actually care what I do for my weekends. Update website, downloading stuff, figuring out what the fuck mail merge is, surfing adware and Trojan horses ladened websites to find my QuickTime serial hack, lie on bed, read a guidebook on Seattle, play games on my mobile phone, think about getting high, getting drunk on wine, hoping to get high, NOT getting high and whatever crap.

As for the alarming "title", don't bother looking too deeply into it. I just have the queer habit of making up controversial statements to show my linguistic abilities. I just don't want people to know that I got a D7 for my high school English examinations.

4 Jun 07 - The Unforgiving "Heat" Of June
It's as if the unforgiving heat of June pierced through my skin; I'm sweating profusely in my silly long-sleeve shirt. I cannot run and I have no way to hide. Maybe I will vote for them if they can air-conditioned the whole damn island.

Been bothered by this flu bug for almost a week; and as usual, the medication provided by my company doctor was like, I should say, as useless as having 3 green condoms but without sex in sight. Mr. Itchy loves to irritate my throat and me at night (especially); waking up in the middle of the night and coughing my lungs out had been the routine of the week. I been drinking Dextromethorphan but that only suppresses the cough temporarily. So after getting high on the cough syrup, Mr. Itchy will come back in full force. Sometimes, I felt like pouring diesel down my fuck*** throat!!

So I couldn't take it anymore and went to see another doctor. The outcome was a ban of spicy food, air-con rooms, 7 different medication and a 2-hour MC. Went home, did some work, had dinner and slept from 8pm onwards.

Things didn't get too well on the office front. Didn't managed my 2 bosses properly and got stuck in a sticky situation as a result. Lost quite alot of creditability that I had built up over the years and felt rather distraught over the weekend. !@#$ Thought (this is probably the first time in a long while) about my life and assessed about what I am doing currently. Maybe I am not a One-Bar General afterall.

30 May 07 - I Am The One-Bar General (Part 1)
This is nothing but a silly story of the One-Bar "General".

Once upon a time, there was a young man who dreamed about being a General so much that he pretends to command his battalions of shampoo bottles, soap containers and deodorant sprays in defence of the Republic of Showers (he was bathing, the toiletries were his men).

When time came, he got enlisted into the Officer Cadet School and started training to become a real officer. He never forgot his dream of being a General; he trained so hard and did more work than he thought others would do. Ok, here comes success and he was promoted to a Lieutenant in double quick time. I can probably share his elation; after all his bosses think highly of him.

He was happy at the apparent success. He blogged about his elation in his website. His bosses view highly of him; he was the "envy" (and so he thought he was) of his colleagues. He could not sleep at night; for he spent entire nights staring hard into his rank he was wearing daily in his uniform. It seems like the longer he stared, the shorter the bar became (Lieutenants wears a bar on their shoulders). "Strange", he told himself, "It's not a bar to me anymore, in fact... it's actually a star. Oh yes, I am finally a One-Bar General!"

His outlook changed. Gone were the days where he worked harder and more diligent than others. One-bar generals don't work late; they work "smart". They handled high-level stuff; policy, planning or whatever. Definitely none of those low level shitty works which stupid privates do. He waited in anticipation of the re-org that was rumoured in his department. "Yes, the bosses are finally going to give me more responsibilities. Oh yes, I am fianlly a One-Bar General!"

What happened was really what everybody wouldn't have expected. The re-org came and the One-Bar General was made to report to 3 other Captains and made to continue to do those "lowly" shitty stuff; running errands for this and that. Yah, nothing of those high level stuff. Oh boy, our One-Bar General was certainly distraught by it!

To be continued...

24 May 07 - My Website, My Website, My Website
???: The reaction of all my fans worldwide for staging a 2-week disappearing act.

Cold sweat poured on me every night (no, I wasn't drinking beer) before I slept. I lie on bed stoned, seriously worried. Had promised my boss to get the website started. But somehow, distractions keep popping out of the corner like Freddy in his typical B-grade horror flick. Some distractions were real, some were important. Some were not so critical, some were probably created by my endless procrastination of life. Perhaps I'm simply too lazy, perhaps I'm simply not as good as it seems.

I BETTER force myself to complete the task; else I shall be shamed and shall never get to travel this year.

8 May 07 - wyattwang.com Is Going To Khao Lak, Thailand
While I barely get by in managing my busy life (I get some relief by reading Lonely Planet Argentina while pretending to be working damn hard in my office), I received confirmation today from my religious society that I am going to Khao Lak (via Phuket), Thailand from 19-23 Jul 07 to install 2 computers for a local school. Nothing technical about this (remember I'm supposed to be a computer engineer that HATES computers); just ensure the computer are working when its there, and probably teach them troubleshooting skills with minor problems occur. I guess it will be a pretty meaningful stint for me; plus I get a chance to get out of Sillypore (Fans: It's time for a new travel blog, isn't it?).

Now I must think of ways in getting my leave application approved. (Boss: I hope you are reading this.)

4 May 07 - Here Comes Success, Hoo Ray Success...
I got my promotion letter from boss today; it was the first time I ever got promoted in my working life (3 years only though). My 2 bosses had actually hinted to me that I would be promoted in the recent future. But still, a rush of adrenalin followed by elation rushed over my mind as I walked into my boss's office. Here comes success, hoo ray success. I feel like croaking like a frog now; for reasons unknown.

Although I believed that my bosses don't tell lies, nothing is really confirmed until one receives that all-important letter of verdict. And for fear of bad luck (so as to ensure that my company don't do a last minute change), I kept the news to myself, not telling anyone including my mum.

I never knew I could be so superstitious. But then again, shit does happen. And nothing will make me risk that.

26 Apr 07 - No Work, No Sex, No Love, No Microwave Dinners, No Life
935am: on a train travelling slowly towards the direction of my office. Somehow, I just don't think my mind is going towards the same direction as well.

It's been 11 days since I made the last blog entry. Not to say that I had been very busy at work (I have to be careful here; my collegaues may be reading this). Just that recently I getting this strange feeling about life and anything that is associated with it in general. It all started when my dear colleague asked me what things I do during weekends. I was stunned (stumbled and fell) and struggled for a moment before I provided a lame answer (kinda like "oh yah, I read alot, accompany my mum, watch movies, blog, go help in a orphanage, provide love to everybody, save the world, etc."). Sounds pretty crap, isn't it?

I went back home soon afterwards and thought about the entire episode. To be frank, it was a pretty daunting experience. The fact is I don't even know what I want in 5 years time. You know that from my subject title; sometimes I don't even know what I am writing about. !@#$

p.s.: Always check your diary before committing to a hot date.

15 Apr 07 - 3 Green Condoms
She handed me 3 green condoms as I walked into the room. She was not Bb, Queen Debbie, Jessie89 or anyone else I knew. She was just the part-time theatre assistant; handing out gift packs to late theatre-goers like me.

The room was the stage for 251, a play about Annabel Cheong, Grace Quek, gangbangs, pornography, sex, love, elitism, tofu, red paint, homosexuality, political freedom and my beloved country. Again, I will not go into details. Someone may be watching me, I think.

I was holding on to the 3 green condoms as I walked out of the theatre feeling strange. My stomach was rumbling; it was almost 10pm and I hadn't had dinner afterall.

11 Apr 07 - Going To A Mass Orgy With Me?
It's amazing on how my boss can be my boss, motivator, spiritual adviser and part time matchmaker (or at least that is what I think so) all at the same time.

She handed me 2 tickets to 251; a play about the story of Annabel Cheong, a Singaporean woman who had a mass gangbang with 251 men (after being raped previously). The proceedings (the mass gangbang, not the rape) were all recorded into tape and she (of course) gained instantaneous worldwide fame (hey, she put Sillypore on a world map!). While I do not want to speculate on her rationale (it's not my business anyway), it's scary to think how a person can be unleashed to do something that is completely out of everybody's expectation.

So here I am, trying to find a date to attend the show with. I began searching my telephone book and decided to sms them with a really cool message:

"Do you want to participate in a mass orgy with me?"

Perhaps it was due to pure luck or the good merits that I have gathered previously, I managed to convince a date to attend the show with me; ok, that was much persuasion but I shall not bore you with the details.

Sometimes I wondered why don't someone declare a rest day for boring Wednesdays?

6 Apr 07 - Hey Queen Jessie89, Thanks For Everything!
It's been only a few hours, and I am missing you already. Afterall, it was an awakening to my new life.

I was very glad that you didn't laugh (at least it didn't sound like you are mocking me) when I told you the truth. I had my first and I was your first. Perhaps it was just plain coincidence that there were so many firsts. Although you kept complaining about life's stupidity, you were being very professional. It doesn't matter whether it was you having me or me having you, the truth is we were just 20 centimeters apart; but I know we were one, at least for that 10 precious seconds.

I miss you and wish you could had read this. But deep down inside me, I know there's hardly a chance that you will see this, and not even mention if our paths will ever be crossed again. But who knows? Maybe we will be strangers when we meet.

Happy Easter, Queen Jessie89...

2 Apr 07 - Post April's Fool Blog Entry
Ok fans, I am finally done with my Yogya/Solo/Bromo blog. Check that out!

In case if you were mislead by the blog title and are looking for a silly April's Fool joke here, I'm sorry to disappoint you by admitting that I hate silly jokes and won't load it up onto my dear website.

Anyway, for an update, I have no definite travel plans yet for the rest of the year. But just a teaser, the possible list of destinations may be Khao Lak, Manila and New York (the grand trip for the year) plus the annual weekend getaway to Tioman. Do check out this site for more updates!

20 Mar 07 - Don't Call The Police, You Are Supposed To Be The Offender, Mr Toe!!

Silly Mr Toe was caught attempting to call the police with a brand new Sony Ericson K800i...

Cough Hill, Sillypore - After being out from bail, Mr. Toe was (again) caught attempting to make unauthorised calls on a BRAND NEW Sony Ericsson K800i.

Inspector Wyatt was on his prowling duty when he chanced upon Mr. Toe. "I was really sleepy last night but felt really alert after realising that I am facing one of the biggest (literally) criminal in Sillypore. That was a chance of a lifetime!"

"It was dirty, unshaven and clearly distraughted. I jumped over it immediately and caught him in the process of calling the police (see picture). But hey, why is he calling the police? I thought he was the criminal.", Inspector Wyatt explains. "And anyway, toes DO NOT use mobile phones, isn't it?"

Mr. Toe is now assisting the Sillypore Police's investigation on this case. As he was on bail when he was caught, he is not allowed on bail this time. The case will be heard on 23 Jul 07.

Mr. Nokia 6230i, who had bailed Mr. Toe out 10 days ago, was unavailable for comment at press time.

11 Mar 07 - BREAKING NEWS: Mr Toe CAUGHT Crooning Along Wth His New I-Pod!!

Mr Toe is happily listening to all his favourite hits from Marvin Gaye!

Cough Hill, Sillypore - Mr. Toe (wyattwang.com latest altered identity) was caught crooning (see photo on the left) along the tunes of Marvin Gaye when it was supposed to be sleeping at 2am today.

Mr. Toe commented that it was exercising its basic rights (toes have rights?) of freedom and liberty to do whatever it wanted to. "I was just out to seek some enjoyment from Marvin Gaye and was certainly not disturbing anyone. Anyway, I used expensive SENNHEISER earphones!"

However, when it was explained that it is absurd to catch a toe crooning to the tunes of Marvin Gaye, Mr. Toe kept quiet, probably acknowledging that he was guilty of the hideous thought crime. Toes don't sing at night; they can't anyway.

If convicted, Mr. Toe will be subjected to a complusory shave, a good scrub on the back or both. It is now on bail for Rp10,000. The case will be heard on 23 Jul 07.

7 Mar 07 - THE Transfer
Got called in for a management meeting (at the eleventh hour) to take minutes. Nothing significant; just the usual political games that people play. Don't even think I should waste any time blogging about this kind of stuff.

After the meeting, boss caught up with me and pulled me aside for some personal chit-chat. I personally don't mind making small talk with her; she is a nice person and she was the one that brought me out from the inferno tower. We talked about the corporate world and how people behave. Although I haven't been working for a long time, I'm pretty sick of all this. But being sick of it doesn't mean that I cannot do a good job while people play games with me. This is work afterall, isn't it?

We next discussed about my career. Now this is something interesting as compared to my recent routines in the office: come to office, switch on PC, clear email, read documentation, lunch, read documentation, dozing off (occasionally), drink tea, clear some more email, switch off PC and then go home. It's just plain work without much pain or getting buttered. As of what all bosses will ask, she asked me what I expect my career path to be. I don't know what gotten to me (but I was being frank and didn't think about any possible repercussions) told her my life is not destined to be with silly computers.

I think she could probably read my mind (she is a great speaker and motivator) and suggested maybe I can look into getting a transfer. That got my mind to wonder; what various possibilities can there be when bosses ask u to consider a transfer?

3 Mar 07 - So Am I Back Here Again?
It's amazing how the ability to fly (with an aeroplane of course) can bring someone's morale up and down; I just need 2 hours to get away from Sillypore. Incidentally, it's also just 2 hours (damn!) to get back. I wish the plane journey was longer.

After 8-day backpacking trip to Yogyakarta/Solo/Bromo/Surabaya, coupled with a 5-day Chinese New Year break, going back to work had never been more difficult. I stared at the silly laptop for the whole day, wondering what's the fuss about. To think that it was just only a day ago, when I ate the wonderful Soto Madura, when I wondered around in Mesjid Ampel (most holy mosque in Surabaya), when I was in my flip-flops snapping photographs. The day was spent in a loss; I simply needed time to recover.

26 Feb 07 - wyattwang.com Is Doing a Solo in Solo City!
Just a quick update for all the fans out there.

I'm in Solo City (or Surakarta) in Central Java (Indonesia) and will be moving on to the next leg of the trip to Gunung Bromo. So far it had been an interesting experience and people in Yogyakarta and Solo have been so friendly (I had been showered with "Ko Ni Chi Wahs" or Hello in Japanese) that I think my worries about travelling alone in Java has been unfounded!

So, do keep looking at this website for more updates and I hope to upload pictures on this trip pretty soon.

p.s: I have been drinking alot of Es Teh (i.e. Iced Tea) at Rp1k. It's certainly a good drink to keep all those drunken thoughts aside.

20 Feb 07 - Was There Something Wrong With Me?
After lazing around at home for 5 days, it's time to go back to office again. If nothing goes wrong, I will be going on leave again; a backpacking trip to Yogyakarta lies waiting for me (keeping my fingers really crossed). Sounds like I am having a good life right?

Accidentally overheard that my aunty was pretty worried on why I broke up with my girlfriend with no apparent warning. Out of concern, she linked this to the fact that I have taken some pictures of tombs (Ming Emperor's tomb in Beijing) and reckons that I may have gained the attention of some ghosts. A quick visit to the Sinseh (local cult doctor) confirmed the fact; I was "hijacked" by an evil (very) female ghost who was very lonely and was constantly seeking company from young virile men. To add excitement to the story, she almost caused a life-threatening accident to me so that I can be her boyfriend or some social escort in hell. It was just at the nick of time that the Sinseh was consulted; he immediately prescribed me with some blessed papers with nice drawings so that the cute female ghost can be exorcised.

My Mum burned the blessed paper and mixed the ashes into my daily glass of water that I drink before I go to work. All these were done without my knowledge. To think that I even blamed my plumber for causing the water to have a slightly charred taste!

The blessed water works apparently; I haven't had luck with those sexy devilish sluts that I meet for the past 2 months.

14 Feb 07 - I Dreamed That I Contracted VD on VD
Perhaps I was simply too sleepy after swimming 6 laps, or maybe I was buzzed out by all the Valentine's Day pop-ups on my stupid ad-ware infected laptop, I dreamed that I was out having fun in some raunchy border town and contracted Venereal Diseases (VD) on Valentine's Day (VD). Shitty dreams do happen.

Valentine's Day (as of other major holidays like Christmas, Easter, New Year) had become so commercialised through all those expensive gifts and extravagant dinners. What had happened to the original concept of Valentine's Day: where nothing but only endless hours of quality time can satisfy the most boring couples of all. Perhaps Valentine's Day should be declared a worldwide holiday, so that all couples can really engage in the truest spirit of love (a.k.a. making it).

And of course, the wretched ugly singles should be locked up in a cage and sprayed with cold water every 10 minutes.

8 Feb 07 - Middle Of The Week; Routine, Routine-ness and Routinity
Just the typical Thursday morning. Woke (trying...) up, brushed teeth, wore clothes, combed hair, packed bag, put on shoes, left house, walked to train station, boarded train, felt like a sardine, sat down, switched on my laptop, blogged and that's about it. It is one of those blogs where you blogged about nothing.

Life is "nothing" anyway.

The daily happenings of life have become pretty routine. Nothing wrong with this and I am not trying to complain. Perhaps I should just fully embrace "routine-ness" of life and get over with it; get married, buy a car, purchase a flat or something. That will really entrenched me into a limitless pit of "routinity".

I have been waiting in anticipation about the Friday online Apple Sales gimmick. Hope to get an I-Pod soon. Now this is not routine...

6 Feb 07 - A Beer Free Weekend? Well, Almost...
And so my beer quitting campaign started without much fanfare. Although I did drink 3 Tigers on Friday (sounds like an excuse, but it was a company function), I didn't drink any beer on Saturday and Sunday. A quick check on my beer spreadsheet show that the last time I had a beer free weekend was 22 Apr 06; a whopping 9 months ago!!!

Due to recent events and happenings, I had started to realise that I should stop drinking beer like Winnie drinking honey. An occasional social drink will be fine but that's about it. No more challenging my record that I had scored in Jan 06. That was really crazy.

Thus, let's all just move on.

5 Feb 07 - Between Left And Right, Between Right And Wrong
Sometimes, I am not sure if someone had decided to baffle me by building confusing roads. It is getting increasingly difficult to determine if I am on the left or right side of the lane. Perhaps this is plain coincidental with the fact that I had a couple of drinks more than I should have as per my new year resolution.

It is also getting increasingly complex to determine if something is right or wrong. There are some things in this world that will not and cannot be changed; facts. However, facts being facts, the interpretation of it is really subjective. For example, the sun rises from the east; this is a fact. However, there is nothing factual about one's interpretation. I can interpret it a signal from the above that someone wants Australia to see the sun first. Others may interpret it that someone wants America to see the sun last. It is a silly example; but the point about this is its subjective and there is nothing you can do about it.

While it may be difficult to establish the "rightness" and "wrongness" of something, I sometimes questioned the rationale of the action of doing so. Is it all-important to have a conclusion of an issue? Is it all-essential to have a right or a wrong stamp on everything? Can't we just leave it there untouched?

This is no doubt one of the most difficult blogs that I had written. And after pondering for a week, I am still unsure of what is needed here.

29 Jan 07 - A Monday Morning (Again), An Infected Laptop And A Lost Weekend
On way to work via the stupid train. I wonder when are they going to give Mr. Sardine a frequent traveller pass; I am on the train for at least 2 hours a day.

Another lost weekend fell upon me. Went back to Malaysia to help out in my cousin's wedding. It didn't turn out to be that eventful as I expected. Just the usual Chinese wedding dinner, liquor toasting and endless sessions of Karaoke. They should just ban all the damn singing during dinners; and just play (repeatedly) Bob Dylan's Blood On The Tracks the whole evening.

Bloody company laptop fell apart when it was infected by some silly spyware. All thanks to it; my homepage is now some fuck** up Chinese movies downloading website. And I can't fuck*** change it. Weird is all what I can say. Only had been frequently the usual websites; none of that unauthorised nonsense. Ok, I'm sounding like a STD patient who insists that he didn't visit a prostitute. The fact is, the laptop is infected and that's about it. Shit happens. Damn.

Reaching office in 30mins. Another Monday and I wonder will anything happen today. Relationship with my dear vendors is getting from bad to worse. Perhaps they don't understand what we want, or maybe I simply don't believe in liberation. This is bad, very bad.

22 Jan 07 - My Confession Of Pain
So when was the last time I played movie critic in wyattwang.com?

I shifted back into my room (my house undergo a 2-month renovation project) and watched Confession Of Pain on the all-boring Sunday night. While I shall spare you the details, in general, the movie explores the lives of 2 policemen who weaved through their daily routine in pain. T becomes a drunken detective, existed for the sole purpose of investigating why his girlfriend committed suicide suddenly; L plays a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde, schemed up a revenge plan resulting from an unsolved crime that happened 30 years ago. Both lead roles converge into a series of puzzling plots, exciting investigations and police/thief chases. At the end, probably due to the concept of Karma (I think), the person creating pain ended up with more pain. It was simply a "You reap what you sow", "you will die if you are a bad guy" kind of movie.

Although the plot was average (the Infernal Affairs trilogy was better), the dark gloomy greenish scenes and alternative kick-ass music created dangerous and confused settings for the viewer. Quoting parts from the movie, L and L's wife asked T in 2 separate occasions the reason why people like to drink; the answer (because alcohol sucks) was the same both times; yet T failed to answer both times.

This is precisely what captures me most; the sheer controversy that the movie attempted to express. I felt connected because I love being in it. And yet, I hated it the most as well, but that's what makes it all interesting. Now, what is love and what is hate? It is all subjective. It is all about what you want to gain out from it. And just like T, whether it was 2, 69 or 4000 times, I cannot find answers to my burning questions no matter how many times someone ask. But do I want to know the answers? Does it matter eventually? Perhaps I am still trying to manage the split relationship between me and myself. How well was I doing? No one knows, no one cares, I don't know, I don't care. There's nobody grading me anyway.

And in the end; that was probably MY confession of pain.

21 Jan 07 - Did Your Tears Ran Dry When You Had A Hangover?
So when was the last time where I had a good-old fashioned handover?

We celebrated Black's (a.k.a. my cousin) "Bachelor Night" just last Friday. In quotes because it didn't exactly turned out to be a REAL bachelor night; his wife-to-be was there (somehow). Don't ask me why the hell she was there though. In the end, we only had the usual drinks and stuff. No funny parties. We just lost the last chance to have a hell of a night.

So as the story goes, I probably had a drop too much. While I was trying to shift all the blame to my fatigue (from work) and hunger, I battled my wrecked dizzy head. Struggling hard to stand up and walk in a straight line, I totally lost (on hindsight, maybe I gained instead) all emotions and broke into tears. Just plain tears. No holds barred.

While I was crying, I tried to come out from the loser me and reflect on why I was crying. I remembered the last time I had a good cry was I had a hangover when I couldn't find a damn job after graduating from that shitty school. So I attempted to ask myself why I am crying this time. Was a good job, financial stability or just me being plain single good reasons to have a good cry? Somehow, my mind doesn’t think so. Silly me, I can say. I was actually looking for a reason to get a good sob.

If there's nothing left for me to cry (now), then why don't I feel that this will be my life eventually? Why don't I feel like I am myself?

Afternote: Oh, I simple had to get back to Black'. Anyway, there's no way where we could had fun that evening. It happened to the eve of some holy public holiday where all entertainment outlets have to close. I say my prayers. Shit happens to the damned.

15 Jan 07 - You May Kill Yourself When You Have A Hormonal Imbalance

Maybe it sounds like attention-grabbing headline, but this is actually my well thought-of excuse for not blogging. Is it clever or corny?

Before I knew it, half a month of 2007 had flew past. Again, all I can do is to wait. I wait for a schedule in my project; I wait for my users to respond; I wait for my colleagues in the office; I wait for a good time to ask my boss for leave; I wait for a chance to go for a trip; I wait for a chance to kill my hormonal imbalance; I wait for someone in my life.

"Someone"... Am I confusing myself again? Or am I just trying to weave a good joke out of the suckers who are faithfully following my life?