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Gibberish Comments (13 Nov 11)
On one of the last trains out of Sillypore
I pondered in silence
Surrounded by the monotonous melody
That came from the lonely railway
I ask myself on the love for travelling
Do I still harbour hopes of finding an oasis
That will keep me happy forever
I pretended not to know the answer
Even though it was always there in my heart

What'sIn Travel Blogs?!
2 Jun 14: Shaoshan (China)
4 Apr 12: Batu Pahat/Muar (Malaysia)
20 Nov 11: The Jungle Railway (Malaysia)
In A Glance
I had the following in Oct 2013:
Coke
Beer
13
0
Click here to check out my previous records.
My Mental Blog
3 Jun 14 - Fear
I walked into the market yesterday and saw a duck shivering as it was laying by the side of a butcher who was pulling out the feathers of another duck that was just slaughtered. For the moment, I felt the fear experienced by the duck as it awaits for its death.

May all sentient beings be free from fear. May all sentient beings be well and happy.
 
2 Jun 14 - 8 Months And Not Even One Single Blog Posting?! I Ought To Be Shot
Yes, I really ought to be shot for not doing anything about my blog for the past 8 months (longest ever period for no activity i.e. 13 Oct 2013 to 2 Jun 2014). Think this is the longest ever period for me not updating my blog. I am sorry, my dear. I promised I would not go missing again; especially when I have so many blogs to catch up!

Well, I am still in China but had shifted province from Changsha Hunan (land of fiery chillies) to Chengdu Sichuan (land of numbing peppercorns). Anyway, to reward all my fans' patience (assuming anyone is still here), the long awaited Shaoshan blog is finally released (2 years after the last travel blog). Enjoy!
 
13 Oct 13 - Another 2 Months Of My Life Gone
After my last blog posting, it had been another 2 months spent in China. Time files past like nobody's business; I am aging day by day as well.

Sometimes I wondered what life really is. Should I hold on to my beliefs or just follow the society conforms which I had refused to accept all this while? Maybe I just need to hit the sheets and hide underneath my blanket.
 
19 Aug 13 - Wee Hours Of A Monday Morning
It is about 0151hrs now on a Monday morning; in another 6 hours and 12 minutes, I would turn into a silly corporate rat again.

Anyway, it took me another month to start writing; but at least I finally finished a page of the Shaoshan blog. I must try to write more regularly while juggling with my work and jogging.
 
21 Jul 13 - In Attempt To Eradicate The Writers' Block...
Ok, I must be getting into the habit of blogging on Sunday nights only. But anyway, I did something which I had not done in more than 15 months; I tried to start writing travel blogs again. The writers' block was sure stubborn and I had to admit that it was rather difficult to overcome it. Well, at least I started, isn't it?
 
7 Jul 13 - The Dreaded Sunday Night!!
It is another Sunday night. With work piling up, shirts not ironed, getting sick of the food here and being far from home, it can get rather shitty. For those who know me, I could just go on and on about how lousy I feel.

So how do I overcome this feeling? I drink Coke, indulge in a Snickers bar, eat chilli peanuts and then blog (which is exactly what I am doing now). At least it diverts my attention away and makes me positive. After all, every day passed means I am one day nearer to getting posted out. Haha, but deep inside me, I think I will miss the place after I leave. Just like my love-hate relationship with Bangalore (India).

I think I better start writing my blogs before I go for my long leave (if I do get to do that). If not, my feeble mind will forget everything.
 
1 Jul 13 - 6 Months And A Sunday Evening (Or Monday Morning)
Had just spent 6 months in Changsha and lost 6kgs. Not seen much improvements in my work though I get a feeling that my bosses feels that I am ok. Well, life goes on though.
 
12 Jun 13 - Just A Posting To Say I Am Still Alive
Its been almost 3 months since I made the last posting. Am ok. Just tired. Work had taken a toil on me. Well, shall I be a corprate rat or a free spirit backpacker?

By the way, Happy Dragon Boat festival! For your information, my family and I are in the Chinese province of Hunan where Qu Yuan (the dude who gave us dumplings and dragon boat races) commited suicide by jumping into Miluo River.
 
29 Mar 13 - Falling Into The Deep Pit Of Loneliness
It is certainly tough when loneliness surrounds you completely.

The routine seems to be the same every day; Work, eat & sleep. The days just go on and on and on with no sight of any light at the end of the tunnel. This feeling confuses me as I struggled to separate life from work and work from life while putting on a front as if I am in control. What a joke.

Perhaps I am taking it all too hard. Perhaps I am just getting old. Perhaps I am just being selfish.

Did I just fell into the deep pit of loneliness? I did and it really got into me. Maybe I was the ONE who simply wanted to fall.
 
24 Mar 13 - Before You Know It, Another Month Just Slipped Past!
Realised I had not done a blog entry for more than a month. Anyway, this month slipped past as quickly as I could blink my eyes. Spent 2 weeks in Sillypore (was working for most of the time) before coming back to Changsha with a huge pile of work. Slogged my nights off before mum came to visit me for a week. Needless to say, I was a (very) happy child when she came since I had so much good food. Now that she had left, I found myself back to the instant noodle & junk food routine.

Life goes on. Work (at an increasing rate) goes on too.
 
17 Feb 13 - 50 Days in Changsha...
Before I realised it, today marks the first 50 days which I had spent consecutively in China (Changsha, Wuhan, Guangzhou & Beijing). Though I had not accomplished anything at all (as expected), the time passed a lot easier than I thought. Perhaps my boss was rather kind to me but I knew Dhamma helped too. I hope I can get some results soon.

Maybe it is the thought of going home that is making me restless. Hmmm...
 
12 Feb 13 - 15 Minutes Of Hot Milk
15 minutes was all it took before I drowned myself in that big bath tub of hot milk.

It seem forever but actually nothing had changed. I just regressed.
 
11 Feb 13 - Spending My First Chinese New Year (CNY) In China
It was interesting to note that this was only the 3rd time in my life that I had not spent CNY with my family in Sillypore. The first time was way back in 1998 where I had to be on standby for some silly exercise during my days in the army. The 2nd time was more or less by choice as I traveled to Johannesburg/Manzini in 2009 to utilise my last free ticket in my previous job. The future is indeed uncertain; never would I ever think that I will be spending another CNY away from my family (and alone) this year.

After the day in the office, I went to Changsha Train Station to find the last remaining crowd rushing home for the holidays. While I was walking home in almost freezing temperatures, everybody was starting to get into the mood while lighting up fireworks (frankly speaking, they should watch out for passer-bys) to welcome the new year. At the stroke of midnight, it was as if the heavens shook (with all the blasting of the fireworks). For a while, I thought I was back in the 2nd World War where the Japanese had invaded Changsha!

The rest of the day was uneventful (maybe I purposely made it so). Forced myself not to work (though I did check my emails through my Blackberry!). Had the usual (and boring) hotel breakfast and slept through the day (never once left the room). Dinner was a delicious bowl of spicy beef flavoured instant noodles.

When one is all alone during a major festive season, one should not complain.
 
20 Jan 13 - Yet Another Weekend Spent In Changsha
Before we all go ahead with this entry, I would like to quantify that I am not actually counting down to the number of Saturdays spent in China; although concidentally, this entry could technically mark my 3-week stay here. Work is generally ok though the responsibilities are rather high. Buddhism does help alot in keeping my mind with the present moment.

The weather had somehow turned warmer since my last entry and I had lost 2 kilograms (too much instant noodles?). Other than that, nothing much had changed. Had already been to Wuhan and Guangzhou for work meetings and will be going to Beijing next week. Hope it is not too cold up north.

Perhaps I should stay to write a blog about Changsha soon. After all, I had already called this city "home".

p.s.: Just finished watching my first FC Barcelona football match. Real Sociedad beat them 3-2 via an injury time goal. It was their first loss after 19 La Liga games. Damn! :(
 
6 Jan 13 - Clocked A Week In China...
After only spending a week in China, people (Singaporeans or Chinese) start to give me the weird stare when I tell them I am actually a Sillyporean. Sometimes, I really wondered if this is really due to to MY vast abilities to adapt or maybe, my Chinese roots are taking shape.

Keep warm, everybody. The winter is really not a joke.
 
15 Dec 12 - PAST, FUTURE & The PRESENT
For the PAST 2 weeks, my schedule was all about flying to and from China (Changsha & Xiamen) to attend various meetings. It is kind of funny to think that just a few years ago (in 2007), I did the same when I was posted to India (Bangalore).

I am sure that the FUTURE 2 weeks will be as interesting as before; my days are numbered in Singapore anyway.

Life is probably most interesting when one just let everything flows naturally while one stays in the present moment.
 
3 Dec 12 - Doused Yourself In Alcohol With Guilt, Pain, Suffering, Ego, Hurt & Insult
I saw again today how alcohol could create so much guilt, pain, suffering, ego, hurt, regret and insult to someone.

I remained committed to stay clear of alcohol and other intoxicants.

May all be well and happy always.

p.s.: Am sorry, fans. I did not managed to go to India. But I am going to China!
 
9 Sep 12 - First Coke in 3 Months!!
Had my first Coke in 3 months while I was busily stuffing a double quarter pounder with cheese yesterday. Before that, there were a few instances where I really felt lousy and wanted to end my cold turkey by gulping down a can of that dark heavenly dew (but somehow I was able to control my desires). When I finally broke my fast and took my first sip, it was interesting to note that there was nothing special (I was thought I was going to get high again if I ever went back to that). Maybe I am no longer addicted to it. Maybe there was nothing special about it in the first place anyway.

p.s.: Anyway, fans - expect another blog soon. I am going back to India again at the end of the year.
 
12 Aug 12 - I Need To Backpack SOON
Did another 2.5 months just passed with a twinkling of an eye?! We are almost halfway into August 2012 and I had not done a serious backpacking trip yet!

The past few months had been hectic but rather uneventful (thanks Buddha). Went to Surabaya (sorry fans not writing a blog this time but you may read about my trip to this city done 5 years ago) with mum to attend a wedding before participating in a major system cutover. Did another Bangkok and spent some valuable time with Pee pee and surprised to find that my website was hacked. Issue was finally resolved after 2 weeks and website was back in action (thus this latest blog entry).

Anyway, I better start planning my next trip; Bangladesh keeps appearing in my mind but I need to stop procrastinating and get my visa done up first...

p.s.: Don't rub your eyes. What you are seeing is true. I not had Coke for since Jun 12. Hope I can hang on.
 
27 May 12 - Giving Thanks
Just felt that I should give thanks to everything that had happened in my life so far - my family (mum, bro and pee pee), my relatives, my friends, my colleagues, my enemies and strangers. The fact that I am alive and could breathe normally is a result of the good kamma earned in my previous lives.

p.s.: Pee pee, thank you for spending the past year with me kurb. Hope there will be many more years to come so that we could learn and practise the dhamma together. :)
 
5 May 12 - Happy Vesak Day!
The first thing I did on 5 May 2012 was to eat my dinner (at 0005hrs) after a long long day in office. While I was woofing down the rice, I suddenly realized my hunger and the suffering that comes associated with it. I wondered how many people in this world were hungry at that moment and how fortunate I was to have food and spiritual nourishment so as to keep me going.

May all sentient beings be free from fear and suffering.
May all sentient beings be free from guilt and jealousy.
May all sentient beings be able to walk the path towards englightenment.
May all sentient beings be well and happy.

Happy Vesak Day! :)
 
29 Apr 12 - 5, 7.5, 29, 2012, 9 and 60
Life is often made of numbers. For example, we finally re-visited Tanjung Balai after 5 years of procrastination. I also happened to have 7.5 eggs in the entire day of 29 Apr 2012. Will I get my confirmation letter after spending 9 months at work tomorrow? Last but not least, my weight finally went passed 60 kilograms since last Friday!
 
4 Apr 12 - 3 Hours And 46 Minutes More To Go Before Waking Up For Work
Time now is 0214hrs. I think I must be out of my mind. Worked in office for 12 hours, reached home late and did some more work again. Anyway, I better sleep soon because I got to wake up in slightly less than 4 hours so as not to be late for work later. At least I will be seeing Pee Pee in the City of Angels soon.

For all those who are hungry for new reading materials, please feel free to read my recent trip (with Mum) about Batu Pahat/Muar. Enjoy.... Zzzzz...
 
1 Apr 12 - "Running" Behind Time
Good morning (at 3am in the morning) and I hope everybody is well. A quarter of 2012 had already gone by. Time literally passed by so fast that I think I am always running behind it. But at least I managed to start my blog about Batu Pahat/Muar.

BTW, I recently got an email from an internet friend who had previously read my blogs. Prior to this, she last emailed me in 2009; that was like 3 years ago. Well, at least there is someone in this universe who is reading all the crap I am dumping into the virtual world.

To this person (you will know who you are when you read this): Thanks! Your email certainly made my day!!
 
12 Mar 12 - Weekends Are For Sleeping?
My sincere apologies. Had to admit that I have not been too prompt in updating my blog. Life as a corporate rat somehow sucks all (if not whatever that is remaining) the energy out from me. If I was not visiting Pee Pee in the City of Angels, I will be spending my time hibernating through the weekends (and sometimes even Mondays!).

But anyway, I managed to avoid sleeping my weekend away again by going (yes, in true backpacking style) to Batu Pahat/Muar (Malaysia) with my mother. The former was especially significant because it was where my mother was born more than 67 years ago. Did we manage to find the house where my mum stayed? Stay tuned as I will write a blog about this trip!
 
20 Feb 12 - Observing This Empty Feeling
Just got back from the City of Angels (i.e. Bangkok not Los Angeles) after a 4-night stay. Felt really empty. Perhaps I was (already) missing Pee Pee and wondered when will I meet her again. I will observe and remind myself that Dhamma shall be my greatest guide to life.
 
24 Jan 12 - I Ate As I Could. I Slept As I Could.
Due to Chinese New Year celebrations, I managed to get 4 days break away from work. Apart from volunteering at the Prisons, I spent most of the time hibernating at home eating and sleeping for as much as I could (i.e. strictly none of that new year visiting crap). Watched a couple of movies by Thai independent director "Apichatpong Weerasethakul". I thought it was a great rest. But somehow, I was never contented as it would end some day.
 
15 Jan 12 - 11.5 months Left For 2012
Faster than one could shout "Happy New Year", 2 weeks of 2012 had already flown past like it was nobody's business. I tried to cross into 2012 as if it was just another normal day. Was fairly successful by sleeping through the long (not as long as I wanted though) weekend.

I used up the first weekend of the year by giving Pee Pee a surprise by appearing at her home (in the City of Angels) on her birthday. Although another tough week of work followed after I got back to Sillypore, I was glad that we had spent quality time together. I missed her but I try to observe my feelings constantly.
 
Feeling lost? Having a "mental blog"? Don't know what am I talking about? Perhaps that is precisely what LIFE is all about. What goes around, comes around. Check out the archives here.
 

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